The Epidemic of Hatred

When I first realized I was a trans-woman I tried looking for other transgender people throughout Twitter. My best friend is a trans-man, but there's a fair amount of baggage between me and him, so I wanted to try and find other people who are going through a similar experience to me.

But when I found those groups, all I really saw was prejudice against cisgender people. 

Now... I understand the frustration that comes from living as somebody who could defined as "the other". I'm a trans-enby, bisexual, autistic person after all. I also understand that having a majority of my family accept what I am, no questions asked, is an uncommon experience and that I'm very fortunate to have had that experience. But I have experienced discrimination as an autistic person. I've had people start treating me like a child once they find out I have autism, obviously stepping pins and needles around me because they don't want to set of a meltdown when that won't happen. I'm 27-years-old and I haven't had an actual meltdown since my great aunt passed away and I found out my uncle has the same cancer that killed her, granted that was this year but I made sure to have my meltdown in private. I'm not an abrasive in my day to day at all and I actively watch for any of those sorts of anti-social behaviors. I'm good enough at masking that very few people can tell that I have autism unless I tell them. That said, in-spite of the fact that I've experienced a fair amount of discrimination at the hands of neurotypicals, I also don't hate them. Much like how I don't hate cisgender people because a few religious nuts are hateful.

There is an epidemic of hate on Twitter that isn't really present anywhere else on the internet outside of active hate sites from either the far right or far left wing. From the radical feminists who stand in solidarity with J.K. Rowling, who's one of the worst celebrity offenders of this sort of online hatred, to the radical trans activists who seem to actually believe that they should be allowed to claim that they're more of a woman than a cisgender woman because they had to fight for it, all sides just spew hatred at each other and expect the other side to either give in to their beliefs or die off.

Trends like calling somebody a groomer because they're transgender or because they want to teach children about the gender identity spectrum, which could be helpful to those children and teenagers who are struggling with their own gender identity are something that could only start through Twitter.

Facebook is too public. Granted people could use an alias but you generally use Facebook to talk to friends and family instead of random people on the internet, even then, you have individual interests sorted into groups so that you're never really forced to sit through things like the Depp vs Heard trial or the "Groomer" hashtag that we had to through Twitter. Due to the lack of anonymity, Facebook tends not to harbour these sorts of conflicts unless you actively seek them out or have extremely right wing family members who do.

But on Twitter, that process of looking for conflict is streamlined. That mixed with the fact that when another major social media website goes down (such as 4chan or Tumblr (well, the Tumblr nsfw community)) the worst of those displaced communities tend to rear their ugly heads.

That said, I like a few communities on Twitter. The NSFW community that crosses over with the LGBT+ community tends to be weirdly wholesome, especially considering what sort of content that community is focused around, but I've also found a good community of other autistic individuals who just want to have our voices heard.

So when I tried to break into the trans community on twitter I was heartbroken. Because what saw was that epidemic of hate spreading through a community that should prop up everybody within it, even the cisgender allies who just want to be of help and prop up the trans-people they follow. I get that some of the people within that community are joking around, but I've also seen a lot of the trans-women on there act actively aggressive toward cisgender followers or competitors.

Another thing is that when you're not face to face with somebody, it's much easier to state your mind, even if what you have to say could be hurtful or otherwise harmful to the person you're to. Read out your comments before you post them, especially on Twitter due to the lack of an edit function.

I once had somebody get who has a hyperfixation on the show Canaan (great show btw) get pissed at me for using this quote out of context, but I think it works really well in contexts like this. "You can't fight hatred with hatred."

Aim to educate, not to be abrasive. Show them that you're a patient and kind human being because you have to take the high road when faced with prejudice or you risk re-enforcing a bigot's hateful beliefs. You can do more good through kindness and compassion than you can through negative reactivity. This isn't to say that protests and other forms of non-violent activism are bad whatsoever, do whatever you can to get your voice her, but when talking person to person, always show compassion.